Self-reliance is a wonderful characteristic so long as it is not antisocial. But many #perfectionists suffer from a compulsive form of self-reliance; a kind of loathing for helplessness or connection. They become disconnected from others and from their own emotional needs. #Perfectionism is a common form of psychological defence. You obsessively pursue one thing to block out or avoid thinking about other things. They are sticky because you experience strong internal and / or external “payoffs”. You gain the pleasure of self-reliance, competence and perfection; while deleting the pain of grief, loss or rejection. Thus, obsession can also be a sign of denial. Drowning guilt or bad feelings in a wave of passionate and productive work. It feels joyful and liberating. And it is addictive. Workaholism is no better than substance abuse.
Separating productive and emotional needs this rigidly is a common symptom of people struggling with perfectionism. The greater the suppressed emotional need, the greater the self-punishing pressure to perform and perfect. Thus, the search for creativity and productivity are linked with periods of suppressed personal doubt or emotional confusion, for example, when transitioning through life phases, e.g., parenthood.
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